Born This Way: Season Finale September 5 | A&E

Dear readers,

On the season finale of Born This Way, the gang celebrated the long-awaited wedding Angel and Christina. Over the last few seasons, I have seen so much growth in her as an individual as well as a couple. They each have taken classes in order to learn the necessary skills of housekeeping and cooking. Their story gives me more hope for my future in terms of my love life -although it is squarely in God's timing and hands. If it can happen for her, it can happen to me too!

But Christina is not the only one becoming more independent, they all are in different ways. For example, Rachel and Megan moved in together briefly, Jon is persistent about learning to drive a car and so much more.

One reason I think everyone enjoys this show is that it is relatable not only to the general audience but to those with disabilities as well. I can relate to this show because I understand how hard it is to keep your independence; yet, it shows the internal struggle between mother and daughter of letting your child go and leaving the nest. I've seen the struggles between Meg and her mother and understood them so well.

In looking at YouTube, I realize I am not the only one who was disappointed with how the season played out over four weeks. I mean eight episodes- two episodes per week .. You have got to be kidding me... Being disabled, I for one know there has got to be a lot of new material they didn't use for the show. But that's my rant. Hopefully, that leaves more material for next season! Fingers crossed. Anyway, at least they have a new one-hour special coming up highlighting what it's like to be deaf. It's entitled deaf out loud and airs next Wednesday at 8 PM. If you missed this season finale, it still can be found on A&E on-demand or on fire TV

Good luck Angel and Christina! I am rooting for you and can't wait to see what happens in future episodes

I'll Push You - The Story of One Friendship Able to Conquer The Mountains of El Camino

Welcome back readers~

This week I had the pleasure of finishing I'll Push You: A Journey of 500 Miles, Two Best Friends, and One Wheelchair. While this book centers around Patrick Gray and Justin Skeesuck's friendship and journey on the El Camino Trail, it is so much more than that. But wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. At an early age, Justin began noticing a weakness in his feet and legs; after a string of misdiagnoses, he is finally given a name for his condition- a neuromuscular disorder- called MAMA. Like ALS, this disorder causes one to progressively lose the use of his body. Despite the devastating news, the two are determined not to put limitations on what is possible- what they do, where they go or how they travel. Case in point- their most recent quest of walking 500 miles of the El Camino together. Not only did that require a lot of physical training on Patrick's part, but they had to find and invest in the appropriate equipment for Justin (a three-wheeled lightweight chair that would be able to handle all surfaces); this investment cost over $8000. Thanks to the sponsorship of a business, they are able to buy the equipment... Under one condition though, that they record their journey



On this 500 mile journey, the two friends encounter there share of challenges- including a broke wheel and what seems like the impassable. These difficulties challenge them to think outside the box and accept help from strangers along the El Camino; in doing so, this causes them to redefine their meaning of community. In the same way, I felt challenged in reading this book. It caused me to look at how I defined community and church in a sense. A church is more than just a building; it's a group of believers that you can trust and be yourself around. It's letting go and letting God provide for you by the people and things God gives you. It's letting go of control, staying in the moment and being thankful for everything you have.

For more information, please go to:
https://www.facebook.com/illpushyou/
https://www.illpushyou.com/

Midnight Sun Trailer #1 (2018) | Movieclips Trailers

Hey Guys~

As promised, here's my review of Midnight Sun. This movie centers around the life of 16-year-old Katie Price (Bella Thorne) who just happens to suffer from XP. Without going into all the medical lingo, XP is a disease which causes a severe sensitivity to sunlight; as a result, Katie is resigned to life inside her house and only allowed out at night. Now one can imagine what this does to her social life; luckily she has one best friend to confide in. But that all changes on her graduation day when she bumps into Charlie (Patrick Schwarzenegger) while playing her guitar at the train station. Unbeknownst to Charlie, she has a crush on him and has been watching him from her window all her life -  this leads to the most awkward first meeting ever.

Think of Cinderella only 10 times worse.

 Yeah, that bad. Still, her best friend is determined to make a "second chance" meeting happen. After Katie accidentally loses her songbook, she texts her friend to bring it to her; however, she "can't", telling Katie she left it with Fred (the ticket master). When she arrives later at night, she finds it in the hands of Charlie. After a awkward start,  they began to realize they have a lot in common. Unwilling to ruin the connection they have, Katie decides to forego telling him about her XP; she just wants to be a "normal girl" a little longer. As he drives back home, she explains that she is busy during the day but free at night. Over the next few dates, the two begin to fall deeper and deeper love; Katie learns about how Charlie hurt his shoulder ruining his chances at a college scholarship in swimming.

Meanwhile Katie's father is becoming increasingly worried about the budding relationship, considering she hasn't been honest with Charlie about her disease. After Charlie insists on taking her on a real date, she worries her dad will reveal the truth when he meets him. She is right to be concerned when she interrupts the two just in time. "Just a little longer," she pleads with her dad. Realizing she is old enough to make her own decisions, he relents. Freedom finally. She puts her phone on do not disturb for the night.

Charlie whisks her off on a whirlwind date- including her first train ride to the nearest city, an underground concert, debuting a song as a street performer and skinny dipping (her idea). Then they fall asleep in each other's arms under the moonlight. Little do they know sunrise is soon approaching.

Katie awakens with a start. I fell asleep. Oh my goodness. What time is it ? Hurriedly, she scrambles for her cell phone. It's about 5 AM with the sun rising and she's received numerous messages from her dad and best friend telling her to get home. Frantically, she wakes up Charlie and tells him she needs to get home as the sun peaks over the horizon. In a panic, they race home; Katie constantly watching behind her. Are they going to make it ? Charlie, still clueless, wonders what are the fuss is about. As Katie exits the car and rushes through the door, she exhales. She is safe. A minute passes and she hears a car in the driveway. Her dad and friend have been out looking for her. Crushed, Katie crumbles as her best friend tells Charlie the truth. "She didn't tell you.. She is sick.. She has XP."

As a precaution, they go to the hospital for a checkup where the doctor announces "minimal" damage. But they should keep eye out for any neurological signs such as trembling etc. Stuck inside, Katie is determined to focus on the future.. If she couldn't have one, she was dead set on her father finding someone to spend his life with; she even went as far as to create a dating profile for him. Seeing his daughter's distress, he invites Charlie to come over with Chinese.

"This isn't something you can just not tell me."

At first, Katie insists they won't work out. "We're not the couple that doesn't try," With that encouragement, they decide to try again. Most of their activities involve playing games indoors during the day. When Charlie has swimming tryouts, Katie arrives in a heavy jumpsuit to cheer him on; when he has finished, she retreats to her heavily tented car.

I won't spoil the ending for those wishing to see the movie. But I will say I can highly relate to this movie.

I have a simple life.

I admit it.

I don't go to parties or have friends over at all times of the night.

I go to church on Sunday and try to stay out of trouble.

Still, I'm ignoring the elephant in the room.

Yes, I have a disability and that limits my activities a lot. I have to rely on others to get me up and dressed as well as fed and so forth. That being said, I wish people would take the time to get to know me - the person beyond the wheelchair. Thankfully, I have a few friends that have taken the time to get to know me that way. They have gone above and beyond to include me in college activities and events; one good friend has even gone as far as offering to take care me so that we could go on a cruise by ourselves. It was wonderful!

All that is great, however I'm still that girl looking for her happily ever after.

I know what you're thinking, "Such a thing doesn't exist honey." No one said I was looking for perfection; I'm just looking for a man who sees me for me and it doesn't matter to  him that I have a disability. He is willing to take on the responsibility (and I know it will be a lot) because he sees something special in me. I want someone to spend my life with besides my immediate family and friends; Someone who pushes me outside my comfort zone and someone I can push as well.

Until then it's just me and Jesus. I'm learning that's enough.

For more information about XP or Midnight Sun, please go to:
https://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition/xeroderma-pigmentosum
http://midnightsunmov.com/

I Can Only Imagine Trailer #1 (2018) - A Movie About The Power of Redemption and Forgiveness

Welcome Back Readers~

I had the pleasure of going to see I Can Only  Imagine as it premiered in theaters worldwide this weekend. For those that are unfamiliar, the song was one of Christian bands' MercyMe first hits. This movie  goes deeper into songwriter Bart Millard's childhood and examines what events led up to the song's concept. From his difficult upbringing to trying to make his dreams happen on his own, every step leads him to depend more and more on God. Despite his growing faith, Bart finds himself unable to let go of the past and forgive his father; this in turn leads to a lack of inspiration in terms of songwriting. That is, until he finds out his father is dying from pancreatic cancer and has found the Lord. In the last few  weeks of his life, Bart and his father repair their relationship and learn to forgive each other.

Along with the power of redemption and forgiveness, this movie has a strong sense of destiny and fulfilling God's plan for your life. Throughout the movie, Bart encounters many obstacles towards his dream of becoming a singer- his father's opinions, the industries'opinion and his own self-esteem etc. But despite this, God accomplishes his goals anyway- bringing him deeper in the faith  and showing Bart (as well as everyone else) who ultimately remains in control. It is in those times of doubt that you grow character and faith. No matter what if it's something God intends for you to do with your life. It will happen. It doesn't always happen immediately though. It's in God's timing, not ours.

J Michael Finley stars as Bart Millard;Dennis Quaid does a marvelous job playing Bart Millard's father. The rest of the cast does a wonderful job as well. This movie shows how one person has the chance to influence the younger generation for a wonderful purpose- if only they are given the chance.

For more information about Bart's story or the movie, please go to:
https://icanonlyimagine.com/
https://www.facebook.com/icanonlyimaginemovie/
https://www.amazon.com/I-Can-Only-Imagine-Memoir/dp/0785216731

Same Kind of Different as Me Trailer #2 (2017) | Movieclips Trailers

Welcome Back Readers~

Although I didn't have a chance to see this movie in theaters, it intrigued me enough to read the book. This book is told from two distinct perspective, that of a upper-class well educated white man andl a homeless African-American. I only point out the race because each influences how they see the other in the beginning but by the end, race doesn't seem to matter. After Ron Hall and his wife Deborah experience some marital difficulties, the struggle to find ways to reconnect. That's when Deborah brings up the idea of helping out at the homeless mission in Texas. It is then when she reveals a dream that God laid on her heart to help out here and of a "friend" that would help them change the city. At first, Ron shakes it off as just a dream, but when Denver enters the picture Deborah is sure he's the one from her dream.

"Become his friend," she encourages.

Obviously taken aback, Ron is unsure.

On the other hand, Denver is wary of anyone who works at the mission. He believes anyone who comes to help is just doing their holiday duty to make themselves feel better. But when they return every Tuesday, his attitudes began to change. Through friendship, Ron develops a deeper understanding of Denver's perspective on people and why the is wary of them. Time passes and the two become closer. It is when Deborah develops cancer that Denver becomes part of the family.

On a personal note, there are a lot of quotes in this book that I found full of wisdom One such quote being that we are all homeless waiting to be taken up to heaven where God is waiting for us (I think Denver puts it better in his book; it is also a quote in the trailer above) Denver also believes that some people see friendship as a catch and release psychology- here today, gone tomorrow-but if he's your friend, he's a friend for life.

I highly recommend this book although the first half is kind of slow and it takes a while to get involved in the plot

Encouragement: Teens with cystic fibrosis give "For Better or For Worse" new meaning

Welcome Back Readers~

They say the Lord works in mysterious ways, that's certainly true for Katie and Dalton Prager. At the age of 18, the two became friends and bonded over Facebook learning they  had something in common- they both had cystic fibrosis. Despite knowing the risk involved, a romance blossoms. Two years later, the couple married. But this story doesn't have fairy tale ending you'd expect. While Katie did undergo a lung transplant, it has failed and now she has entered hospice. She remains positive focusing on quality of life now rather than quantity. Her husband plans on being transferred to a hospital closer to her in Kentucky

For more details of their story, go to: 

http://www.cnn.com/2016/09/09/health/cystic-fibrosis-fault-in-our-stars-couple-hospice/

Sarah Young's "Jesus Calling"

Hello Everyone~

In my previous post, I explained the tireless journey that it took me to get a job. At first, I did my best to thank God for the opportunity on a daily basis; over time, it's newness wore off and a routine was put into its place.. I am happy to say that didn't last long!

Eventually, I recognized the error of my ways and wanted to find a way of reconnecting with God.. Jesus was, after all, though one responsible for granting the the blessing in the first place.. I had nothing to do with it.

As Christians, we have a tendency to become too involved in the affairs of this world and forget where our citizenship really lies. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we shouldn't care about people. We should; God calls us to be "a light" in the midst of the darkness. Sarah Young's "Jesus Calling" is one of the audible books I've downloaded in an effort to restore and repair my spiritual relationship with Jesus. Each day, it gives me a reminder of how I am important in my Father's eyes.

I have always been His Child covered by Jesus and his Ultimate Sacrifice on the cross. But my relationship with him will always be a work in progress

That is, until he comes again and completes his final work in me!

Entering Another Stage Of Life..

Hey Guys~

Recently, a disabled friend of mine got married and entered a new stage of life. I wish her and her husband all the best as they encounter the joys and challenges of marriage. Still, I am at a loss; once again, knowing that this may inevitably change the framework of friendship. in the meantime, I am also struggling with feelings of inadequacy. But I have to believe God has a plan for me and somewhere out there, He is molding my husband to be the man he has to be in order to take on the responsibility of caring for someone that is disabled. That being said, I would like to dedicate the following song and devotional to all those people caring for the disabled, as well as husbands taking care of wives with disability


Can I Borrow Your Hands Song and Devotional

God bless and Happy Friday!
Debbie

Birthday reflections/This Is Our Time Trailer

Welcome Back Readers~

Approximately two weeks ago I turned 33.. Unlike most birthdays, this one was quieter than most-with a simple family gathering at Outback Steakhouse with a few balloons.

The older I get, the more I realize that birthdays offer us a unique opportunity to take stock of our lives and make changes. Questions like Am I doing all I can to portray God's Love to those around me or Have I done enough in using my God given talents to further His kingdom always seem to be at the top of the list.

I'll be honest these are hard questions to answer, especially when you feel like you don't measure of to those around you. But that's the beauty of God, we each matter to him and are uniquely created for the task set before us as Christians. After all, doesn't it say in Corinthians 12:12-21 :

    " Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by^[c] one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many. Now if the foot should say, 'Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body, it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, 'Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,' it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?  But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be?  As it is, there are many parts, but one body"

 

That being said, we shouldn't doubt our purpose or standing in terms of God's grand design! We have each been put on this earth for a reason... Though we might not see His Calling in our lives yet, it's there; whether it be to simply act as a light in the darkness of your workplace or testify to those in other countries. It's all important because it points the way to the cross..

This is the main message I got from Pureflix's This Is Our Time. And even more than that it reminded me of the amazing Christian friendships I have maintained from college. I love you guys..

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGVWWsxvh_Y

Encouragement: Your Love Will Always be enough!

Welcome Back Readers ~
The following lyrics from Hillsong's "Forever Reign" came to me as I went to sleep on Monday night. Like many people, I had spent the night watching the season finale of the Bachelor and got caught up in seeing Sean's fairytale unfold...
Every girl wants to find Mr. Right and live happily ever after. It's perfectly natural, but we must not forget God in the process. His love will always be enough to sustain us through the highest of highs and lowest of lows.

This is something I had to remind myself of today!

 

"Forever Reign"

You are good You are good
When there's nothing good in me
You are love You are love
On display for all to see
You are light You are light
When the darkness closes in
You are hope You are hope
You have covered all my sin

You are peace You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true You are true
Even in my wandering
You are joy You are joy
You're the reason that I sing
You are life You are life
In You death has lost its sting

(Oh) I'm running to Your arms
I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

You are more You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are here You are here
In Your presence I'm made whole
You are God You are God
Of all else I'm letting go

Bridge
My heart will sing no other Name
Jesus Jesus

 

Encouragement: Joni & Ken: An Untold Love Story | Blog

Welcome Back Readers~

I don't know about you, but I am so looking forward to Joni Eareckson Tada next book entitled Joni and Ken: An Untold Love Story. She has always been pretty open about how her diving accident changed the way she looked at life; it was through that experience that she found herself looking upwards to a newfound relationship with Jesus Christ. However, little is known about her budding romance with Ken. Along with stories of her marriage and antidotes on her struggle with cancer, I hope she also tackles how to deal with feelings of inadequacy while you wait for God to bring the right person into your life...Anyway,the book is due in stores April! Take a look at the book trailer below:

oni & Ken: An Untold Love Story | Blog | Joni and Friends

Valentine's day is for everyone!

Dear Readers,


Okay, so I know I'm one day late in writing this Valentine's Day post. But then again it's never too late to celebrate the message of love with all the special people in our lives. I've been thinking about this a lot lately; just because of the holiday itself-but because it's around this time I realize most of my friends are scattered around the globe.

Though it's been a difficult journey, my friends (both old and new) have always had my back. As I've said many times before, they have played instrumental roles in making me the person I am today. They're both supportive and accepting while spurring me on to grow in ways I never imagined; much in the same way as Paul mentored Timothy in the Bible.

Ironically, you'd think it had been an other way around- considering Paul's current situation (sitting in a jail cell, awaiting his final days). But instead he spent days writing a final letter to encourage him. He recalled seeing the same faith in Timothy as he had seen in generations before him (Timothy 's mother Eunice and grandmother Lois). Because of this, there is no doubt for Paul that it will be passed on. He does issue a warning, however, underlining the importance of keeping the passion going for the Ministry.

2 Timothy 6-8 says, "For this reasonI remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God."

Where am I going with all of this? Not only do we need relationships for fun and recreation, but we also need down to encourage our personal growth. So next time you wonder why God has placed someone in your life, he might just be challenging you...

PS. I love all my friends.. you know who you are!

True for My Reflections: Expectations of the 20th Century Woman

Okay,

So I've covered this subject many times before, for some reason though, the subject has been on my heart this week. Like most of my friends, I continue to struggle finding my place in this world. After all, I am thirty years old. I should be settled by now, right? Independent, working and let's not forget, married. These are the typical expectations of every young woman in today's society.

It's sad but true. These expectations send the wrong message to young women who are still trying to find themselves; they can also lead single women to question the way that they experience life. I'll be honest when I say I feel totally inept as I see my friends (those that are married or about to be) experiencing the trials and tribulations of real-life. What can I say to them? Nothing. My words won't do it justice. Because I haven't experienced it myself... At least that's what society puts in our heads.

And sometimes, we as 20 century women, believe it! This is just one of the storylines that Karen Kingsbury focuses on in her Above the Line series.

There's no denying the frustration that comes with watching your friends and family achieve their goals so easily. But don't forget, it's not as important that you experience life, only that you hold yourself to God's standards, remembering that he is controlling your comings and goings. In his timing, if it be His will, you may meet your future husband. Some may not, but that doesn't mean you are not worthy. It just means that you are prepared to do God's work as a single woman. After all, the Bible does not say "All women should wed", it says instead that "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." (I Corinthians 7:8-9)

Grown-up Girlfriends Chapter 12 and 13

Hello everyone ~

How is everybody's week going? Mine had been pretty hectic lately with car problems and trouble getting splints made for my hands. This process has been months in the making, ever since I got my first round of Botox. Unfortunately, though, it keeps getting passed on from doctor to doctor because they're not really sure what they want. Not that I'm complaining, I am definitely not looking forward to wearing them both day and night. But I guess that's the only way my arms will see changes in the long run.

Today I will be concluding my series on Grown-Up Girlfriends. I hope through my notes during this series my readers have learned to value the relationships that God puts in our lives. I have certainly learned a lot about myself as well as the importance of Christian friendships in my life. The final two chapters focus on the importance of learning through this process and growing up in response.I would love to hear how and if the series impacted you.

Notes on Chapter 12- A Grown-Up Girlfriend Passes On What She Knows
1. Make Yourself Available- if the opportunity arises, be ready and willing to share your experiences
2. Spreading Your Wings- allow yourself to grow from experiences and develop your own convictions about friendships. Every person is different and takes different perspectives on any given situation.
3. Deuteronomy 6:7
4. Remember To Pray for The Females In Your Life- a prayer could be as simple as the one given on page 199

"Lord, please help my daughter [or niece or any young lady] have with some when selecting girlfriends. Please bring girls into her life who love you, most importantly, but who also make good choices in life. Protect her from harm and bless her abundantly with healthy friendships. Amen".

Notes for The Final chapter: Chapter 13- The Grown-Up Friendship Requires Us to Grow Up
1. Too Often We Want to Be Comfortable, but Becoming a Grown-Up Requires Change and Growth
2. "God will provide what is needed for this change throughout the journey- if we choose to follow him" (page 209)
3. The Goal of Growing Up - Ephesians 4:14-16, taken from The Message
It says in part, "God wants us to grow up, to know the truth and tell it in love- like Christ and everything."
4. Qualities of A Grown-Up Girlfriend- to encourage, give hope, and provide a Christ- like example to those around us
5. Growing up is a choice we have to make
6. Signs That You Are a Grown-Up Friend- (page 216)- Accept rather than judge, express your feelings and expect friends to do the same, take responsibility for your own feelings; however, never lay guilt trips on your friend for how you feel, show empathy and compassion and true understanding for your friend.

Since the series is over, I am beginning to wonder where to go from here. I know a while back I had talked about doing a review of Patrick Henry's new book, I Am Potential. But I would like to hear from you, what would you like to see done with this blog? Any feedback readers provide me with is greatly appreciated. I look forward to hearing from you all,

Sincerely,
Debbie

Finishing up Grown-Up Girlfriends, Chapter 10

Hey Guys~

For today, I have decided to continue my Grown-Up Girlfriends series.. Since there are only a few chapters left, I hope to finish up the series by the end of the week. If you have enjoyed this series, I hope you will let me know. I found the book very enlightening myself and I've learned a lot. The following notes are on chapter 10 of the book; this chapter focuses on knowing when to let go of a friendship. Letting go is a difficult process, but sometimes a necessary one. Especially when the friendship becomes a bad influence or seems to be over.

Chapter 10 Notes for Grown-Up Girlfriends

1. A grown-up girlfriend knows when to let go
2. Possible Reasons Why a Friendship Has Ended

• Betrayal /loss of trust
• Growing apart
  There are two reasons why this can happen:this can be regained if both parties acknowledge the distance and want to change things
  The "Different Friends for Different Seasons Of Life" philosophy
• Moving away

3.Dealing with the loss of a Friendship

• Acknowledge and accept the grief
• Allow God to help you through it
• "It gives us an opportunity to grow, to change and become more Christlike" (Page 170)

Grown-Up Girlfriends Chapters 8

Hey Guys~

It's hard to believe it is March already. Based on the weather outside my window, you would think it was December. That's right; there's snow on the ground in Virginia. Yet, sunshine still manages to peak its way through the clouds. It's picturesque scenes like these that make me just stop to marvel in awe of God's beautiful landscape. The year 2009 has just started, but I have already learned so much -about myself as well as personal care agencies here. Have you ever felt like that? It's almost gotten to the point where I would like things to go right for once. But I know through it all, I am growing into the woman God wants me to be.

Botox seems to be going okay for me. It's only been a week and I have seen improvements in my reach and abilities-that's even without therapy. My mom is still trying to find one in our area. The doctor suggested I go for occupational therapy twice a week. So I don't think it's going to be as difficult as before. Please continue to pray that I continue to improve..

Now, onto today's post.. Over the last few weeks, I have continued my analysis of the book entitled Grown-Up Girlfriends by Erin Smalley and Carrie Oliver. I hope you have found that insight I have posted from the book as enlightening as I have. This week, I intend on concluding the series with notes from the last four chapters. As I am sure you've noticed, the authors also place an important emphasis on the developing Christian friendships can impact one's life. Chapters 8 focus on the importance that forgiveness plays in maintaining healthy relationship. On Wednesday, I will continue with Chapter 9-on overcoming destructive relationships. These are the
relationships that have played a role in developing your personality in a negative manner.

Notes on Chapter 8-A Grown-Up Friend Forgives

"A friendship will never be the same when true forgiveness is experienced; it will deepen and and grow at levels never before experienced". (Page 132)

The Biblical Stance on Forgiveness

-See Colossians 3: 13

-True forgiveness starts with a grounded relationship with God. Accepting and acknowledging our weaknesses

-Forgiveness is a choice, not based on our emotions. However it is founded on "compassion and grace" (Page 134)

-As Christ did with the Samaritan Woman, we should be willing to discuss each other's short comings in a effort to become the woman God created us be. But do it in love. John 4: 4-30

-Try to look at things from their perspective. Realize at some point, the roles may be reversed.

-Remember that our friends can't supply for our every need. Only God can

-Forgiveness cannot happen overnight!

-Forgiveness requires: 1) a heart of repentance. 2) acceptance of one's behavior, not blaming your friend for your mistakes. 3) reconciliation is an agreement that things have to change- "the things will be different". (Page 141)

-- -- --

Notes taken from the book "Grown-Up Girlfriends: Finding and Keeping Real Friends In the Real World" by Erin Smalley and Carrie Oliver

Grown-up Girlfriends: Chapters 6-7

Everyone~

Okay, so here's the deal. I haven't received any feedback on my continuing Grown-up Girlfriends series; as a result, I have decided to finish what I started. Besides, learning how to maintain friendships is a important skill-friends will always be around even when your parents won't be. This subject applies to everyone, not just the disabled community.. but first, let me explain what's going to happen this week. I am going in for Botox tomorrow. For that reason, I may not be posting as usual. I've had Botox before but it was a long time ago; so, I don't exactly remember how much pain the treatment will cause. This time, I am getting my wrists and arms done.

Anyway, I am going to do my best in terms of posting on my blog a day in advance and set it up to publish itself. But I am not making any promises. The next few weeks are probably going to be full of intense therapy sessions and such. Still, I am very hopeful. If the therapy can make my hands straight enough to wear rings, or drive my wheelchair using my joystick, or simply dial my cell phone, that would be an accomplishment. Keep your fingers crossed or say a prayer if you feel inclined.. thanks !

Now, onto today's post..

Chapter 6: The Grown-Up Girlfriend Embraces Differences

1) Acknowledge our differences and accept them; the fact is, that our differences are what attracts us to each in the first place.

2) Too often we feel the need to create our friends into what we think they should be, try to let this go. Realize that God created your friend this way for a reason.

3) Everyone has different personalities

-are you a introvert or extrovert? Introvert get their energy from being alone, while extroverts get their energy from being around people and doing activities.

-Dreamers Versus Detaliers? Dreamers like to make plans for the future whether or not they come true. Detailers like to make plans for today and live in the present.

-Structure or not? Some people like to use planners to organize their day while others find joy in living life spontaneously.

-Feelers Versus Thinkers? Traditionally, women are led by their feelings when making decisions. Occasionally, though, there are those who like to take some time before making decisions. This can cause conflict because the feelers often take this personally

4) Why are we so different?

-We are so different because we are uniquely created by God.

-The conflicts in friendships make us fully appreciate and reflect on God's love.

-Being in a friendship full of differences gives us a unique opportunity to develop some of those qualities in our own lives

-When we understand each other's differences, we are more likely to adapt our expectations and avoid conflict.

5) Remembering the biblical purpose of differences

-Read Romans 12:4-5

-Not everyone can be the same. They each have to fulfill their purpose.

Chapter 7: The Grown-up Girlfriend Connects by Communicating

1) The power of words can be used twofold; Words can bless people, but they can also do irreversible damage. That's why you shouldn't be careful.

2) Some important Questions To Consider

-"Are we willing to take responsibility for our words and learn methods to clean up our messes?"(Page 105)

-"Are we willing to be committed to seeking Christ's discernment about if and when we need to communicate our pain to others?"(Page 105)

- "When others fail us, are we willing to forgive and begin the journey of healing our hearts?" (Page 105)

-"As a grown-up friends, are we willing to make the choice to learn adult communication skills and not to stick to the methods we learned from our families or in junior high school?" (Page 106)

3) Are you a Safe Friend?

-a look at the negative impact of words.. "Gossip can poison our perceptions of another person ." (Page 112)

-besides criticism, here are some characteristics that can lead to negative thinking between friends-critical thinking, competing, blaming, unwillingness to confront, jealousy etc.

4) Creating a Safe Environment For Friends?

-"Honor your friend" -appreciate their value in your life (Page 118)

-"Recognize when your fear buttons have been pushed" (Page 118)

-"Be willing To Forgive" (Page 118)

-"Speak Life into Your Friends"-be positive in your relationships, uplift rather than tear down your friends (Page 119)

-"Avoid escalation" -try to stop all negative behavior (Page 119)

-"Create ground rules in the relationship"-these are boundaries that you both will follow regarding behavior, ideas of trust and intimacy (Page 119)

5) As a Grown-up friends, we must be willing to confront the real issues

6) Be a good listener

7) "A Grown-up friend is aware of negative beliefs and gives her friend the benefit of the doubt" (Page 125)

8) "A Grown-up Friend Takes Responsibility"(Page 128)

-- -- --

Notes taken from the book "Grown-Up Girlfriends: Finding and Keeping Real Friends In the Real World" by Erin Smalley and Carrie Oliver

The Continuation Of Grown-Up Girlfriends.

Everyone,

As I mentioned earlier, I recently realized that I had forgotten to pursue the rest of my book review on Grown-up Girlfriends. You may remember this book is about the importance of maintaining and sustaining friendships in real life. I have already covered subjects such as:

1.) The Purpose Of Friendship

2.) The Challenges In Creating Friendships-these can be both internal and external. Although, most of the time we create them ourselves.

3.) We must be committed to knowing God and becoming the women God wants us to be.

4.) The Characteristics of Grown-Up Friendships. Knowing its purpose is important

a. takes the focus of you

b. gives us hope for the future

c. May reduce feelings of rejection

5.) Learning that every relationship has different levels of intimacy. We give and receive different amounts of information, depending on the level of trust.

a. Some friendships are for fun; they primarily share opinions and common interests.

b. Others have the opportunity to go deeper, sharing our hopes and fears for the future.

c. It is important to note that not all friends are at the same level. It is like that for a purpose. They fulfill a need that God created.

These are the main points from chapters 1-3; today, I will continue with chapters 4 and 5 in a effort to finish up the book. Feel free to e-mail me with opinions about these posts, so that I know whether to continue it.

In chapter 4, we learn that the "grown-up girlfriend" is committed to knowing herself.
Ask yourself these questions: What is The Status of Your Heart? Is it Open and Closed? If you have had hurtful experiences in friendships, it is possible that you may have close your heart. Contrary to popular opinion, love is not just a feeling; it is a choice biblically founded. See Mark 12:28-31.

It has also important to note that we are not capable of generating this love ourselves . It comes from God. See I John 4:7-8, 18-19.

If your heart is closed:

1) Acknowledge that and gave your heart time to process what you are feeling.

2) Seek God for guidance; ask God to change your heart. See 1 John 4:7-21

How does our heart gets closed? It is important to note what motivates us and "pushes our buttons" Believe it or not, fear often causes our heart to close. I'm not talking about physical fear fear, but the emotional ones. Fear of being rejected and abandoned by a friend to name a few. Knowing this about ourselves has the potential for a deeper understanding and stops a negative reaction and a chain reaction to others.

Some negative impacts of fear are:

1) Because of fear, we talk about the surface issues rather than the "real" ones

2) Because of fear, our initial choice is to react instead of respond to that conflict. Take for example, the biblical example of Genesis 3: 10

3) This fear can create a co-dapendency. At this time, our focus is more on what our friend should do, leaving us feeling helpless. Therefore, we often feel the need to "manipulate" the situation.

The flip side to fear and its chain reactions to friends-and sometimes keeps us communicating even when we don't want to!

In chapter 5, the grown-up friend learns how to set and maintain boundaries

What exactly are boundaries? See Mark 12: 30-31

This means honoring both your heart and the heart of your friend

Emotional Boundaries

When it comes to emotional boundaries, most people fit into one of two categories. They either let their emotions control them or are "emotionally stuck".

Having healthy emotional boundaries prevents us from becoming "overly involved" and emotional in a situation.

So where do you fit in? Ask your friends for feedback

Having healthy boundaries also ensure healthy expectations on the friendship for both parties.

These boundaries often remind us our "unique identity" as a woman. We each are different and should not conform to the habits or views of others

Well, that's about it for chapters 4 and 5. Let me know what you think.. Should I continue writing down the important points from this book or should I move on to Patrick Henry's "I Am Potential". Your feedback is appreciated.

*Despite the fact that this book is primarily for girls, I believe many of these concepts can be applied to other relationships.

-- -- -- -- --

Notes taken from the book "Grown-Up Girlfriends: Finding and Keeping Real Friends In the Real World" by Erin Smalley and Carrie Oliver

This week..

Dear Readers,

My apologies for not posting at all this last week. It passed in a whirlwind, as a lot was going on around our house. First, a good friend of mine came to visit me from Michigan. It was a good time for me, considering we hadn't really seen each other in nine months. It's always amazing to me how some friendships can pick up right where they left off like no time had passed. However, in some small way, I can't help but feel things have changed.

I know we are each are growing up to be that the woman God wants us to become. It's just happening for us in different ways and at different times. This friendship challenges me in many different ways. On the one hand, I look at her and question my own faith. After all, she is so outspoken and knows who she is in her relationship with God. Me? I am more soft-spoken when it comes to matters of the heart. I've always been that -that's the way God created me. Still,, I can't help but wonder whether I'm doing things right. I have too remind myself that God can still use me. It's not MY JOB to change someone's life. It's God's stirring on someone's heart; he's just using me as an example of how a life can change. Sometimes, it's even a positive to show that people make mistakes-that way it shows that anything is possible.

During the week, I also trained my second personal assistant. It's been quite a adjustment, getting used to someone in my apartment for a long periods of time. I can't get much done writing wise. You see, I'm kind of used to people coming and going in my apartment back where I used to live. They don't do it that way here.

Anyway, I have some interesting surprises coming up next week. Stay tuned

The week after Christmas

Okay,

So in just days few days, a new year will be upon us. Personally, it's hard to believe. It's amazing how time flies these days. It really makes you learn to appreciate the time that you have and not take things for granted. After all, you never know what the future holds . Look at me. A year ago I was a celebrating Christmas in the wintery state of Ohio, surrounded by my mom's family. On the other hand, this year with quite different. Instead of getting together this year, we figured it would be easier to cancel our Christmas get-together since grandma's death. It will probably resume next year, but even then things will not be the same. Another change is the weather. Living in Virginia, our family was treated to our first Christmas without snow.

Honestly, I am not ready to start fresh. I am afraid I will get into the normal mode of life and let time pass me by.. I am afraid it will forget the important lessons that loved ones who have passed on have taught me. Looking back, I do have some regret that I never got to know my grandmother for the woman that she was.. the young spirited woman I sometimes catch a glimpse in my mother's eyes. Part of her will always live on through my mother and for that I will always be grateful.. However, I'm sure there are stories I never got to hear. I'm sorry for that.

The same principle goes for my aunt. She was a quiet woman, never wanting to be a bother to anyone. They both taught me so much.

I don't want to go back. However, I don't want to forget this feeling- the feeling you get when something drastic happens to change your perspective. I'm beginning to wonder if that's why this happened- to remember what's really important in my life and who I am.. my dreams and childhood hopes for the future. Because that's what they did. They may not have traveled miles to witness to others or accomplish their dreams. But they did in their own way.

It's strange but in some small way, I feel a new sense of hope for the future. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I can't wait to see what God has in store for me.

On that note, here are some other children's dreams that came true this Christmas.

http://ucpeople.blogspot.com/2008/12/ballerina-dreams-come-true-at-cerebral.html