Short post..

Everyone,

I am sorry for my tardiness in posting to this blog today. (In reality, I know it's Thursday; but I figure it's better later than never.) I hope to get things back on track by Friday. Anyway, on to today's post.

In this day and age, it is so easy to get stressed and bogged down by the things of this world. I thought I would take some time to highlight some songs on my iTunes that inspire me. These are songs that remind me that God does love me and no matter what happens he is with me.

1. While I'm waiting-John Walker-The Blessing

2 . How you live (Turn up the Music)-Point of Grace-How You Live

3. He believes In You-Point of Grace-How You Live

4. You Alone-Echoing Angels-You Alone

5. Praise You in This Storm-Casting Crowns-Lifesong

6. East to West-Casting Crowns-The Altar And the Door

7. Anyway-Martina McBride-Anyway (Single)

8. You Know Where To Find Me-Matthew West-Happy

9. Something to Say-Matthew West-Something to Say

10. This Center-Matthew West-Something to Say

11. The Moment Of Truth-Matthew West-Something to Say

12. Stop the World-Matthew West- Something to Say

I could go on and on, but these are very favorites right now. If you haven't figured it out, the format is song-artist -album. I hope this helps you as much as it does me

Grown-Up Girlfriends Chapters 8

Hey Guys~

It's hard to believe it is March already. Based on the weather outside my window, you would think it was December. That's right; there's snow on the ground in Virginia. Yet, sunshine still manages to peak its way through the clouds. It's picturesque scenes like these that make me just stop to marvel in awe of God's beautiful landscape. The year 2009 has just started, but I have already learned so much -about myself as well as personal care agencies here. Have you ever felt like that? It's almost gotten to the point where I would like things to go right for once. But I know through it all, I am growing into the woman God wants me to be.

Botox seems to be going okay for me. It's only been a week and I have seen improvements in my reach and abilities-that's even without therapy. My mom is still trying to find one in our area. The doctor suggested I go for occupational therapy twice a week. So I don't think it's going to be as difficult as before. Please continue to pray that I continue to improve..

Now, onto today's post.. Over the last few weeks, I have continued my analysis of the book entitled Grown-Up Girlfriends by Erin Smalley and Carrie Oliver. I hope you have found that insight I have posted from the book as enlightening as I have. This week, I intend on concluding the series with notes from the last four chapters. As I am sure you've noticed, the authors also place an important emphasis on the developing Christian friendships can impact one's life. Chapters 8 focus on the importance that forgiveness plays in maintaining healthy relationship. On Wednesday, I will continue with Chapter 9-on overcoming destructive relationships. These are the
relationships that have played a role in developing your personality in a negative manner.

Notes on Chapter 8-A Grown-Up Friend Forgives

"A friendship will never be the same when true forgiveness is experienced; it will deepen and and grow at levels never before experienced". (Page 132)

The Biblical Stance on Forgiveness

-See Colossians 3: 13

-True forgiveness starts with a grounded relationship with God. Accepting and acknowledging our weaknesses

-Forgiveness is a choice, not based on our emotions. However it is founded on "compassion and grace" (Page 134)

-As Christ did with the Samaritan Woman, we should be willing to discuss each other's short comings in a effort to become the woman God created us be. But do it in love. John 4: 4-30

-Try to look at things from their perspective. Realize at some point, the roles may be reversed.

-Remember that our friends can't supply for our every need. Only God can

-Forgiveness cannot happen overnight!

-Forgiveness requires: 1) a heart of repentance. 2) acceptance of one's behavior, not blaming your friend for your mistakes. 3) reconciliation is an agreement that things have to change- "the things will be different". (Page 141)

-- -- --

Notes taken from the book "Grown-Up Girlfriends: Finding and Keeping Real Friends In the Real World" by Erin Smalley and Carrie Oliver

A Unique Look at the Freedom of Speech

Everyone,

I apologize for the late posting of this article. This weekend, my family and I traveled back to be with family as a cousin of mine got married. Weddings are a amazing time to recognize the power of love both on a spiritual and physical level. I can only hope to find that someday.

Anyway, on to Friday's post..

If you ask most people, blogging is considered a source of entertainment. This platform allows people to discuss ideas, share facts and get to know people on through this thing we love to call "cyberspace ." However, for people like me, cyberspace offers so much more. Take a look at another disabled blogger's perspective:


http://lorelle.wordpress.com/2009/01/27/the-freedom-in-freedom-of-speech/

Encouragement: Blindness not a factor for martial arts participant

Hey Guys~

Okay, so the Botox injections went well. I ended up getting six injections in my left arm and two in my right. It will take two weeks until we see the maximum results they will have. But I am hopeful. Right now, my arms ache and are a little weak ; as a result, I am posting a little early and shorter this Wednesday. You may remember I posted about Cole Massie earlier this month. Cole is a young man with CP that participates in karate despite his disability. Well, recently, his Judo friend Sensei Rich also made the news.

Read more of his amazing story, also overcoming being legally blind http://www.pottstownmercury.com/articles/2009/02/23/news/srv00000%20ease%20than%2004753462.txt

--- --
*After posting this article, sensei Rich pointed out some corrections. Rich participates in judo, not karate. He is also legally blind with Congenital Nystagmus, not totally blind. Judo is a recognized Paralympic and Olympic sport. I am sorry for the misrepresentations previously, I wasn't really feeling that great

Grown-up Girlfriends: Chapters 6-7

Everyone~

Okay, so here's the deal. I haven't received any feedback on my continuing Grown-up Girlfriends series; as a result, I have decided to finish what I started. Besides, learning how to maintain friendships is a important skill-friends will always be around even when your parents won't be. This subject applies to everyone, not just the disabled community.. but first, let me explain what's going to happen this week. I am going in for Botox tomorrow. For that reason, I may not be posting as usual. I've had Botox before but it was a long time ago; so, I don't exactly remember how much pain the treatment will cause. This time, I am getting my wrists and arms done.

Anyway, I am going to do my best in terms of posting on my blog a day in advance and set it up to publish itself. But I am not making any promises. The next few weeks are probably going to be full of intense therapy sessions and such. Still, I am very hopeful. If the therapy can make my hands straight enough to wear rings, or drive my wheelchair using my joystick, or simply dial my cell phone, that would be an accomplishment. Keep your fingers crossed or say a prayer if you feel inclined.. thanks !

Now, onto today's post..

Chapter 6: The Grown-Up Girlfriend Embraces Differences

1) Acknowledge our differences and accept them; the fact is, that our differences are what attracts us to each in the first place.

2) Too often we feel the need to create our friends into what we think they should be, try to let this go. Realize that God created your friend this way for a reason.

3) Everyone has different personalities

-are you a introvert or extrovert? Introvert get their energy from being alone, while extroverts get their energy from being around people and doing activities.

-Dreamers Versus Detaliers? Dreamers like to make plans for the future whether or not they come true. Detailers like to make plans for today and live in the present.

-Structure or not? Some people like to use planners to organize their day while others find joy in living life spontaneously.

-Feelers Versus Thinkers? Traditionally, women are led by their feelings when making decisions. Occasionally, though, there are those who like to take some time before making decisions. This can cause conflict because the feelers often take this personally

4) Why are we so different?

-We are so different because we are uniquely created by God.

-The conflicts in friendships make us fully appreciate and reflect on God's love.

-Being in a friendship full of differences gives us a unique opportunity to develop some of those qualities in our own lives

-When we understand each other's differences, we are more likely to adapt our expectations and avoid conflict.

5) Remembering the biblical purpose of differences

-Read Romans 12:4-5

-Not everyone can be the same. They each have to fulfill their purpose.

Chapter 7: The Grown-up Girlfriend Connects by Communicating

1) The power of words can be used twofold; Words can bless people, but they can also do irreversible damage. That's why you shouldn't be careful.

2) Some important Questions To Consider

-"Are we willing to take responsibility for our words and learn methods to clean up our messes?"(Page 105)

-"Are we willing to be committed to seeking Christ's discernment about if and when we need to communicate our pain to others?"(Page 105)

- "When others fail us, are we willing to forgive and begin the journey of healing our hearts?" (Page 105)

-"As a grown-up friends, are we willing to make the choice to learn adult communication skills and not to stick to the methods we learned from our families or in junior high school?" (Page 106)

3) Are you a Safe Friend?

-a look at the negative impact of words.. "Gossip can poison our perceptions of another person ." (Page 112)

-besides criticism, here are some characteristics that can lead to negative thinking between friends-critical thinking, competing, blaming, unwillingness to confront, jealousy etc.

4) Creating a Safe Environment For Friends?

-"Honor your friend" -appreciate their value in your life (Page 118)

-"Recognize when your fear buttons have been pushed" (Page 118)

-"Be willing To Forgive" (Page 118)

-"Speak Life into Your Friends"-be positive in your relationships, uplift rather than tear down your friends (Page 119)

-"Avoid escalation" -try to stop all negative behavior (Page 119)

-"Create ground rules in the relationship"-these are boundaries that you both will follow regarding behavior, ideas of trust and intimacy (Page 119)

5) As a Grown-up friends, we must be willing to confront the real issues

6) Be a good listener

7) "A Grown-up friend is aware of negative beliefs and gives her friend the benefit of the doubt" (Page 125)

8) "A Grown-up Friend Takes Responsibility"(Page 128)

-- -- --

Notes taken from the book "Grown-Up Girlfriends: Finding and Keeping Real Friends In the Real World" by Erin Smalley and Carrie Oliver

The Continuation Of Grown-Up Girlfriends.

Everyone,

As I mentioned earlier, I recently realized that I had forgotten to pursue the rest of my book review on Grown-up Girlfriends. You may remember this book is about the importance of maintaining and sustaining friendships in real life. I have already covered subjects such as:

1.) The Purpose Of Friendship

2.) The Challenges In Creating Friendships-these can be both internal and external. Although, most of the time we create them ourselves.

3.) We must be committed to knowing God and becoming the women God wants us to be.

4.) The Characteristics of Grown-Up Friendships. Knowing its purpose is important

a. takes the focus of you

b. gives us hope for the future

c. May reduce feelings of rejection

5.) Learning that every relationship has different levels of intimacy. We give and receive different amounts of information, depending on the level of trust.

a. Some friendships are for fun; they primarily share opinions and common interests.

b. Others have the opportunity to go deeper, sharing our hopes and fears for the future.

c. It is important to note that not all friends are at the same level. It is like that for a purpose. They fulfill a need that God created.

These are the main points from chapters 1-3; today, I will continue with chapters 4 and 5 in a effort to finish up the book. Feel free to e-mail me with opinions about these posts, so that I know whether to continue it.

In chapter 4, we learn that the "grown-up girlfriend" is committed to knowing herself.
Ask yourself these questions: What is The Status of Your Heart? Is it Open and Closed? If you have had hurtful experiences in friendships, it is possible that you may have close your heart. Contrary to popular opinion, love is not just a feeling; it is a choice biblically founded. See Mark 12:28-31.

It has also important to note that we are not capable of generating this love ourselves . It comes from God. See I John 4:7-8, 18-19.

If your heart is closed:

1) Acknowledge that and gave your heart time to process what you are feeling.

2) Seek God for guidance; ask God to change your heart. See 1 John 4:7-21

How does our heart gets closed? It is important to note what motivates us and "pushes our buttons" Believe it or not, fear often causes our heart to close. I'm not talking about physical fear fear, but the emotional ones. Fear of being rejected and abandoned by a friend to name a few. Knowing this about ourselves has the potential for a deeper understanding and stops a negative reaction and a chain reaction to others.

Some negative impacts of fear are:

1) Because of fear, we talk about the surface issues rather than the "real" ones

2) Because of fear, our initial choice is to react instead of respond to that conflict. Take for example, the biblical example of Genesis 3: 10

3) This fear can create a co-dapendency. At this time, our focus is more on what our friend should do, leaving us feeling helpless. Therefore, we often feel the need to "manipulate" the situation.

The flip side to fear and its chain reactions to friends-and sometimes keeps us communicating even when we don't want to!

In chapter 5, the grown-up friend learns how to set and maintain boundaries

What exactly are boundaries? See Mark 12: 30-31

This means honoring both your heart and the heart of your friend

Emotional Boundaries

When it comes to emotional boundaries, most people fit into one of two categories. They either let their emotions control them or are "emotionally stuck".

Having healthy emotional boundaries prevents us from becoming "overly involved" and emotional in a situation.

So where do you fit in? Ask your friends for feedback

Having healthy boundaries also ensure healthy expectations on the friendship for both parties.

These boundaries often remind us our "unique identity" as a woman. We each are different and should not conform to the habits or views of others

Well, that's about it for chapters 4 and 5. Let me know what you think.. Should I continue writing down the important points from this book or should I move on to Patrick Henry's "I Am Potential". Your feedback is appreciated.

*Despite the fact that this book is primarily for girls, I believe many of these concepts can be applied to other relationships.

-- -- -- -- --

Notes taken from the book "Grown-Up Girlfriends: Finding and Keeping Real Friends In the Real World" by Erin Smalley and Carrie Oliver

Encouragement: Making the Most Of Every Day.

Hey Guys~

Before I get started with today's post, I wanted to give you a heads up for the rest of the week. Over the last few months, I have realized there are a few projects on this blog that I haven't finished. My grown up girl friends book review and "Debbie questions" week are just a few. I intend to rectify that. On Friday, I will once return to the book review and try to finish what I started. In terms of questions that my readers may have, you are always welcome to e-mail me. Who knows? I may announce a questions week again since it just occurred to me sometime this month is my two-year blog anniversary.

Now onto today's post..

It's hard to believe it's the middle of the week already. It still amazes me how fast time can fly; so I have learned the importance of not taking anything for granted. Even the hard time times. As I mentioned many times before, it's these times that have the potential to develop the most character. Here's another person's perspective on learning to take our moments and use them wisely.

http://secondchancetolive.wordpress.com/2009/01/20/using-our-moment-in-time/