Grown-up friendships Part 2

Hey,

Here are part two of my notes on Chapter 1. These notes focus on the challenges humans face in creating friendships

Challenges to building friendships
· life transitions, changes: on the one hand, this is the worst time to make friends. On the other hand, this is the time you need them the most. Find people in similar situations like yours. You may be able to learn from them and their experiences.
· Personality- the level at which someone connects with others. For some, this may come easier than most. Here are some hints towards overcoming this difficulty: attend groups that break down into smaller groups (this allows for a more personal interaction), be open, use your friends circle of friends as a starting point (this takes the stress of you to introduce yourself), ask questions to keep the conversation going.
· Sticking to our comfort zone- On page 18, the author analyzes the problem with having un-flexible comfort zones .She says, "The problem with our comfort zones here on earth is that they are narrow, limiting, and growth inhibiting. They prevent us from becoming more like Christ and discovering some of the gifts-such as unexpected friends-that He has for us when we risk being uncomfortable." Be open to new situations. You never know what blessings God might have in store for you
· Busyness

* the Different Seasons of Life*

A season of loneliness sometimes is meant to teach us things. For example, being lonely may teach a reliance on God instead of ourselves.

Encouragement: A Poem

Well,

I came across this poem with the help of Google alerts. It helps to express the feelings of the disabled community on a daily basis. Written by a group of sisters, it really is meant to make you think and evaluate your actions towards others. After all, you have no idea how you can affect a person. Good or bad.

Think about it.

BEATITUDES TO FRIENDS OF THE PEOPLE WITH DISABILITY
Blessed are you who take time to listen to my difficult speech,

For you help me to know

if I persevere i can be understood,

Blessed are you who never bid me to hurry, or take my tasks for me,

For often I need time rather than help,

Blessed are you who stand beside me as i enter new untried ventures,

For my failures will be out weighed,

by the time I surprise my self to you,

Blessed are you who ask for my help,

For my greatest need is to be needed,

Blessed are you who understand that it is difficult

for me to put my thoughts into words,

Blessed are you, with smile,

Encourage me to try once more,

Blessed are you who never remind me,

That today I ask the same question twice,

Blessed are you who respect me and love me as I am,

Not as you wish I were.

(This poem can be originally located at:
http://schoolforthegirlscourage.blogspot.com/2008/03/friends-to-people-with-disability.html)

The purpose of friendships

Okay,

As promised, here are some of my notes from Chapter 1 of the book. Keep in mind, these are brief and important points in my view. Different points mean different things to different people, so I would suggest buying the book if my observations at all interest you. It certainly has brought to light a lot of things in my friendships.

Anyway, here we go..

Important Notes On Grown-Up Girlfriend

We need friendships because..

• We are created for connectiona.
• Men's Versus Women's Role
• it is different
• Men take care of garden and animals; women are in charge of child rearing and being a companion (Genesis 2: 19- 23, 3: 16
• i. Women crave interactions
• i. The scientific need for friendships
• can lead to longer life
• better odds at surviving medical events
• less chance of developing respiratory problems or cancer
• less chance of developing depression

Service

Okay,



So I'm sure I have talked about this subject of service and faith to God before, but I think it's important to talk about again. The last few weeks have been difficult for me and my family, both on a personal and professional level.

Too often we get caught up in our lives and forget the impact our actions and words have on others.

I have to be honest that was me today. Especially considering my current circumstances and everything going on in my life, it would be so easy for me to say, "I'm not doing this today" or "I'm going back to bed until this day is over ". But I don't. Not only because I know my family and friends (both on earth and in heaven) expect better of me. Or as Judge Hatchett puts it, "I expect great things ."

Well, so does God. He expects and rightly so great things from us. We were created to do great things- not only in our lives or in those of others. In other words, to serve others and satisfy their needs instead of your own. This is not always easy; it requires a keen sense of observation and listening skills in relationships. Sometimes though just living the Christian life is enough, remembering we are supposed to be a positive example to others on a daily basis. This simple concept was brought to my attention through today's devotional.

In that devotional, she tells the story of a day, pretty much like my own, where she struggled to find meaning beyond the confines of her disability.it took the small note of a 11 year old girl to remind her of God's purpose for her life. To serve.

The Bible verse that supports this point of view is: "This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the Gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!" --2 Corinthians 9:12-15 from the Message

In closing, Joni always leaves her readers with a short little prayer to God that focuses on today's lesson.

I will leave you with today's prayer:
"Lord, help me to go out today and spend my life for You. Enable me to undertake some special task for You, for this refreshes and enlivens my soul. Help me to exult in distresses of every kind if they but promote service to You and to others."

Friendships that matter

Everyone,

I have recently begun reading a book called Grown-up girlfriends by Carrie and Erin. I find the book so intriguing that I have decided to make a series out of it. I wish I could say I would have a scheduled reading and reflection posts. Since I have a busy life, this may be more difficult than I imagine. But I am willing to give it a try.

The first installment is today's post. As a introduction to the series, I will give you a little background on the book and its purpose. The book is written by Erin Smalley and Carrie Oliver- too real grown-up girlfriends. According to Amazon.com, it says: "Even when life is hectic and harried, every woman has a God-given longing for relationship, and her female friends play an important role in filling that. Oliver and Smalley help women distinguish between self-centered, insecure, childish relationships and other-centered, healthy, "grown-up" relationships. Using personal anecdotes and scriptural principles, they explain ten characteristics of a grown-up friend and offer ideas on how readers can develop these attributes in themselves. Finally, they tackle the tough issues of friendships, such as how to support a friend in crisis, how to work toward forgiveness when a friend has injured you, and how to determine when it is best to let a friendship go."

But from what I can tell, the book is this and so much more. These are just some of the topics covered in this book:


1.identify potential soul-mate friends
2. mentor others
3. set healthy boundaries
4.resolve conflicts constructively
5. support a friend in crisis
6. practice healthy forgiveness and reconciliation
7. let go of destructive friendships . . . or avoid them altogether

See you next time when I cover "defining grown-up girlfriends and their purpose".

From now on, any post entitled grown-up girlfriends is part of the series. Feel free to follow along. Who knows if I get enough of a response, I might start a discussion group.

Starting young

Well,
It's been a difficult week, full of personal struggles and family difficulties. But I couldn't let that keep me from posting. Personally, I don't know what to say after everything I have been through, so I am going straight to my post topic.

Growing up, a lot of people don't know how to deal with people with disabilities . They don't know what to do or how it act around the disabled community. I think a lot of this comes from the way that people have grown up and the way they have been taught .

I came across this blog which highlights a book for young children talking about being paralyzed. This story deals head on with the stereotypes they may have. Some of these include thinking that we are helpless and can't do anything by ourselves.

Check it out

http://cedir.blogspot.com/2008/03/aunt-katies-visit.html

Positive images on disability

So,

I was looking through my e-mails and thanks to my Google alerts came across these positive images of disability. The ads are part of a campaign to sell cars, although some people may see this as a marketing strategy and may be offended, I don't. I see this as a way of breaking down stereotypes that people may have about the disabled community.

Now, I can understand how some people can be offended relating our ability to persevere to that of a car. But it all depends on how you see the picture.

How do you see this campaign? Check out another person's viewpoint at:http://similinton.com/blog/?p=109