The "Real" Story

Sometimes I wonder whether I'm doing you a disservice by only sharing certain parts of my life with you in this blog.

By that I mean, the happy times. Don't get me wrong, the happy times outweigh the sad. But sometimes having a disability and everything gets to me. Take today for example. Waking up this morning, I felt extremely disheartened about my life. I began to wonder how I fit into the big picture of this world in terms of my faith and purpose. I began to question my motives for a lot of things such as writing for this blog, or whether I'm doing enough with my life to serve God. Okay, so maybe the weather has something to do with it. It is absolutely terrible outside. A thick layer of snow covered the porch when I last looked outside. Gray clouds loom above making it seem as if it's evening when it's really not. In actuality, it's about 3: 30 in the afternoon.

Having a disability can be difficult. It does limit me and give me boundaries in terms of what I what I can do with my life. Yes, I wish I could do more!! On the other hand, it allows me to depend on something "higher" than myself to supply my needs. My friend and Savior Jesus Christ. That begs me to ask another question of myself, "What if I don't have enough faith?" Then it dawned on me that it's not my job to produce the faith, just to keep it alive no matter what.. Even the smallest bit, the size of a mustard seed, matters.. The rest is up to God. Sure, people can increase their faith by reading devotionals and the Bible. But the reality is, the initial sacrifice and "measure of faith" was God's. He gave it to you and me at no cost whatsoever.

Anyway, those were my thoughts this morning. As the day went on, my attitude got better. Looking back, I guess my devotional fits really well. Living life. The difference is, Christians don't live by society 's standards, but by God's. According to Psalms 34: 12-14, the list includes:

1. Keep your tongue from deceit.
2. Depart from evil.
3. Do good.
4. Seek peace.

Seem simple? I guess it is. We all feel down sometimes. It's normal; it's our job to not dwell on it too long.